A Brief Update

To all three of you who follow this I am not dead. Life gets the best of you especially when you are more politically minded and active in your community to defend the safety of your own home town and state.



Recently my family has been helping out our local candidates for positions within the community and county, for school and education boards, and even the State Supreme Court. We helped with campaigns and calls, tending to this as well as College and my family forces me to break away from the blogging world.

I am back, but not as often. I will post, as much as I can attempt.

But, I am not dead.
Brain dead? Maybe. Defending Liberty? Yes.

P.S. The pic of my yougest daughter, Mishka Tatjanna, at the local FDL Tea Party. I stole the pic from the FDL Reporter.com

Return from the Dead

Well, my PC died. Along with my PC so did my grades for my online class as I was unable to get everything accomplished and some files were lost I was not able to turn in on time. Joy of joys is this beginning to seem like work! I never thought college could be such a strenuous labor- grades and such- you would think if all of the people we know who got degrees coud do it, why can't I ge through this with ease? yes I am being fecitious.

Anyways, I am back, full time and everything, new classes and new approaches. uch like Max headroom I feel out of place in a new and adventurous world which I feel out of touch with. Maybe that is the best thing for me, to be out of touch enough to maintain some sort of coherency in this diabolical society we call normal. Actually to think of it I probably am in a good place to be actually- outside look in only to pity that which so many are caught up in of no importance.

But, I am back. And no, I am still not smoking. Its been three months now. Yes, I still want a cigarette. No I will not have one.

The Fat Capitalist

Well, I wanted to keep this place more of my own place free of the political tirades of partisan rantings, but this was to no avail. So I made The Fat Capitalist. To visit it you can click on the link I made to it to the right. I only made a rant post for right now but with our current President in office I am sure we all will have some more to add to the pot. SO from now on my polit6ical rants wil be there while I keep this place more in tune of a personal and religious share-happy place free of Satanic zealots who want us to kill babies like we have in political offices nationwide, mostly in Washington DC.

Stimulus Joke, I mean, Plan

For the last few days our home has been bombarded with political discussions mostly on the topic of the incredible stimulus package brought before the House and Senate this last week. We have seen everything from Dick Durbin to Nancy Pelosi to President Obama himself come forth and express how this package is the best thing to come to us since the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Heck, its even better than the discovery of almighty chocolate! And of course this stimulus package must not only have bi-partisan approval but it must go through period, otherwise the end of the world is going to happen. Or even worse than that- San Francisco is going to have more things to complain about if this does not go through, oh noes!

Now not to get into a serious rant here but did anyone else's butt cheeks tighten everytime Obama or Pelosi mention that this current economic problem was caused by W. Bush and his economic policies? I thought it had to do with a Democrat ran Senate and House who forced banks to give loans to people who did not qualify. Did anyone else feel the urge to throw a brick at the television when Obama or Pelosi mention that tax breaks for everyone are not the answer to solving this economic volcano we are sitting on? I thought historically Reagan proved that during an economic slump we should get the government out of the business of the economy and lower taxes on everyone. Did anyone else want to vomit chicken soup from a second story floor onto a large crowd of Shriner's on tricycles everytime Obama and Pelosi mentioned anything about an economic stimulus plan in the same sentence as spending billions of dollars on dog parks, renovating the commerce department, dump cash at researching STD's and purchasing hybrid cars for the government? I thought FDR made it clear that throwing cash into politician's committees causes the government to not only overinflate the dollar but also bring us deeper in debt and fails to solve anything except raise the public's own suicide statistics.

I did not vote for the Messiah, Barak Obama. But what I have witnessed this week is a man not only grasping for straws but a man who failed at helping those in a time of need, like the state of emergency for those who have been without power for days, those who have died in the latest freak weather storms in states who have declared a state of emergency and have been pleading for some security from the President whom they voted into office. I think human lives are more important than any bill in Congress or Senate. I have also seen a man who has failed to bring two parties together, especially by isolating himself further into his own party and failing to even acknowledge the fact that rewriting the history of the last eight years into an economic disaster, which the last eight year was not at all an economic failure, really shows horrible leadership and a superiority complex that he holds himself to be above the normal man. If he sits on the toilet like the rest of us and has gas on occsasion, he is no better than me or my old dog.

Obama is supposed to work for us, serve us and be a representative for me and you. Sadly Nancy Pelosi does represent Northern California so I cannot say anything there except that Northern California should never enforce its virews on anyone else except its own citizens. Leave me alone, Nancy. So far Obama has only shown that he is a man of his own agenda and a puppet for his Party by giving his own party every demand they have asked for in our tax money. Sadly I am having to face the facts about this guy, that he is never going to represent anything I personally stand for, which saddens me even further as I have to pretty much disappear off the political radar as I cannot stomach much more of this. I want action, or impeachment- whichever comes first. He either changes his policies or he needs to get kicked from office. After all he only won on 54%. The rest of us 46% have no representation while he dines in our White House while our tax dollars now go overseas to abortion clinics from my Orthodox Christian pro-life pocketbook.

People, wake up for once and realize this is the time for change. We need to change the direction of our parties and make for us the country we were intended to have; a free nation; a nation founded on the principles of Liberty, a laissez faire, non-interventionist government, economic state for prosperity and the rights to succeed in your endeavors and the rights to fail and pick yourself back up again if you do- and no intervention from anyone trying to make it "fair for everyone" as nowhere in the universe is life "fair and balanced" for everyone, except on Fox news.

Thieves I Tell You! Thieves!

This thought just occurred to me: We use banks in our daily lives to keep our money safe and to ensure that we have it for our future by setting up Savings Accounts in them to collect interest. But yet they charge us for checks, maintenance fees, cards that are lost or stolen, charge if we have a below minimum amount in our savings and some even go so far as to have annual fees from the time you opened your account. There are also overdraft protection fees paid monthly, other transfer fees if using another facility's ATM machine, account deactivation fees if you switch your account a newer one from your previous one if not within a year of your opening, and of course the lovely "no previous bank in the lat year? Lets check your credit then" approach which nails you with more fees because you are considered a high risk client.

Fact is, banks are robbers of your money. They steal more from us than our mattresses. Also what does my credit report have anything to do with my current check in my hand I want to deposit into your bank for your grubby hands to spend it while I am not looking on more doctored up fees to squeeze this poor kikel kraut cracker of an injun out of his last cent he needs for Mishka diapers? Banks are just as bad as robbers.

Seriously.

The Flooding of Apartment #1

Late Wednesday night I got up from the computer after doing most of my school projects this week to a wet floor in my kitchen. I was craving orange juice and decided to follow through with this carnal passion for the delectable fruit drink. I was baffled as to where this water was cming from so I checked under the sink, the dishwasher and as soon as I stood up I called for Kyra to come and take a look. Whehn she arrived to the kitchen only to see that the water was rushing from the dining room, she told me that outside our apartment door in the hallway it sounded like a waterfall.

When Kyra and I opened the door to the main hallway, sure enough it was flooded beyond belief. One of our two water heaters decided to blow out and flood the bottom floor. We live on the bottom floor. This is not good. So all day today I have been pounding away at moving furniture, ruined boxes in our closets and tossing out old mementos from letters to journals to baptismal cards for our girls we stored in nice boxes now soaked through. Sad really, but at least everything else is safe.

So we survived the last flood we had in April of last year only to get hit with a man-made one in our apartment. And the funny part of it is we are still having to deal with people coming in and tending to fixing this up since we already had everything cleared in less than a day to have them come in and clean it up. I am already sick of the wet carpet smell already.

Life goes on though. At least my wife and I were there dealing with it together. It was a nice time to be with her even though the situation was not a good one. I love her dearly and the fact that she helped out while pregnant and feeling horrible really showed her love. Sometimes in the midst of the poo life throws at us its good to have your wife right next to you on the journey at every step.

Why Me? Oh Lord- Why Me?!

Why is it that something bizarre I may have studied in the past always comes back to bite me on the butt in one form or another? Today one of my associates here in Wisconsin decided to meet me locally at one of the local Christian coffee houses for a cup of joe to discuss some new revelation he has had while visiting some of the local churches. He had nothing bad to say at least until we actually began the serious discussion.

He opened up first with the formal greetings, then the informal chit-chat about how things have been going. He is well aware that the flu has run through my home and that I am recently over it, hopefully not giving it to everyone seated near us or him. But to carry this conversation further he opened up to me about how he has come across some explanations for some the current catastrophes which have been occurring lately and how this is tied in to the end of the world. As I hear this, I begin to twitch in my leg and my right eye. I ask him to go on. Sadly he did.

My associate decided to explain to me about the Annunaki and how he believes that the Nephilim are returning to Earth from the planet Nibiri which is on its way back to our Solar System. I stared blankly at first, not believing that anyone would actually accept the writings of Sitchin as fact. Seriously, Sitchin only has a degree in Economics, not Ancient Sumerian Linguisitcs. I will explain what the Annunaki are by the way so you don't have to look up horribly made websites of lame alien depictions carved out on rock faces and statues. The only one you need to see is the one I put up at the beginning of this rant so you can kind of understand where this is going.

The Annunaki, according to Sitchin, are the race of aliens from the planet Nibiru whom we know here on Earth as the Nephilim from Genesis 6:1-4. The planet Nibiru is on an elliptical orbit around our sun and a burned out sun known as Tartarus. Nibiiru comes around every 3,600 years into our solar system. Nibiru is the supposed Planet X, the 12th Planet, and other mysterious names whic make it sound creepy, spooky and corny. Sitchin states that one of Nibiru's moons collided with another planet, the 4th planet in our solar system called Tiamat, which created the asteroid field and threw off a piece of Tiamat into another orbit which we reside on now known as Earth. The Annunaki, who are of course much smarter and more develped than we are have created our society, religion and our lives. Sitchin says that we have been manipulated by the Annunaki since the very beginning of our existence and every bit of our faiths have been infiltrated by them. Sacred Scriptures have been created, or doctored up by them to throw us off from thier plans. The Hebrew Old Testament has been altered from its original form as well as the Christian New Testament have not been kept unscathed by the Annunaki. And now, according to Sitchin, the current weather changes on Earth which we are blindly blaming on Global Warming are actually being caused by the return of Nibiru, the mysterious Planet X. Along with the return of the planet is also the second coming of Jesus, the return of the Nephilim and the destruction of the world.

As he told me this as I sat as quiet as I could, a task hard for me to do and I have given it over to Him as my burden and my Cross, he asked me what I though about this, as serious as he could have been. I gave him a calm response, as cool as I could be. He was shocked that I knew who Sitchin is and that I knew about the Annunaki, Nibiru, the Nephilim and the Sumerian religions. I explained it to him that I already studied this up a while ago and that I found several flaws to this extreme, speculative theory of Sitchin's. I told him that Sitchin's attempt at translating ancient Sumerian text has been debunked by the best scholars in the field and that Astronomers, Physicists and Professors worldwide consider Sitchin a kook. I explained that no one in their field has supported any of his works, his ideas and that they have looked into his work to try and see if any of his work is legitimate but nothing has come to show anything substantial or even valid. Nothing has been shown scientifically to have any value. My associate of course disagreed, but with no rebuttal.

Now my associate knew I have read up on Christianity but he was surprised that I knew anything about this topic. I told him that I was a master at one time of 101 useless facts. He asked me to explain so I told him my little tale-

Now many of you know that I read alot on other faiths for many years simply because I always enjoyed learning why people believe what they believe. Some of you even know that I went through an Agnostic phase during the 1990's where I traversed my own (lack of) faith looking for an answers- answers as to why I believed what I supposedly professed to believe and of course this led me to question my own faith in a serious light. During this time I looked into everything, immersing myself into things most people have no clue exists or let alone could pronounce. The Annunaki and Sitchin being something I crossed by in my studies and research was definitely not something I could seriously believe in simply because wearing a tinfoil hat in some end of the world cult does not sound remotely plausible.

Near the end of our conversation with my associate I felt saddened that he went from being a Jehovah's Witness to an Evangelical Christian to now an obscure Sitchin-reading, tinfoil hat-wearing, zealous, conspiracy fanatic. He is such a nice guy- but man, can I draw out the best of them! Why- or how- or what attracts them to me, these obscure, bizarre and outright kooky conspiracy people? Why do I attract those who always have some strange cult-like belief or who are outright nutcases- these alien abducted vegans from Alpha Centauri, recycled-soul-carrying whack jobs with aluminum hats and their own translation of the Ceti Bible they translated while in a trance with Joan of Arc, Joan Jet, or Joan Collins? Why me, Oh Lord of Heaven? Why Me?!

Holy Rollin' in Fond Du Lac! Hallelujah!

Today was a bit of a drag in regards to my wife being pregnant, throwing up anf having the usual nausea associated with being married to an Oberg Boy. Typical of this common phenomena occurring in the morning we missed our Church service in Appleton at St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church. Failing to drag myself out of bed since my wife was not getting out of bed I also failed to get up in time to go to our local parish here in Fond Du Lac, Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Church. My family stayed homeand had some fun, like throwing up and being sore from injuries.

I wanted to go somewhere for church today. Regardless of where I really did not care. I jumped on the net to see if anything was going to be available for a Sunday night service. I checked the local Roman Catholic services and the only thing happening was a prayer meeting group. I searched for some of the local Episcopalian groups, all one of them and saw nothing on the agenda list except another prayer meeting. Its nice to know people are praying at least! I checked some of the Lutheran places. Nothing except for places I have no clue where they are and I am not gong for a drive in ice and snow in areas I have yet to traverse. I was depserate.

Then it occurred to me: why not go back to my roots for one night and try to see if I can get anything from it as far as a message or something anything -Milk! -Toast! -I didn't care. I just wanted to sit in a pew or seat somewhere today. So I looked up what was nearby that I knew I could drive to without fear and I arrived at Cornerstone Worship Center. My daughter Rivkah went with me because she loves the Sanctuary, as she has told me everytime she enters our parish sanctuary.

As I entered Cornerstone Worship Center I was greeted very respectfuly and its was pretty cool. The people were friendly and I even recognized some of them from around the town. Some thought i was a regular, probably due to my belly and the fact that most men in Wisconsin have a belly. I was given a folder with several flyers on what this church practices, how they worship, what they believe. This is a common but honorable practice I can understand. An usher showed Rivkah and I to a nice seat near the back of the room and we sat down. Pews. I have gotten used to pews since I left the Evangalical Churches of California. RIvkah began to look around and ask me questions about where the icons were- I laughed and told her that people here do not believe in the use of icons. She asked why and I told her simply that some people just do not. She then told me that she wanted to see some icons and thats just silly not to have them in her playful high pitched talk she does when she is playing.

Now this struck me: my daughter recognizes that her family's belief has icons in their traditions and uses them in devotion. When I was growing up I would have never thought about this and then I realized that my faith has rubbed off on her and the rest of my family. I always knew this was the case of things but the realization was acknowledged deeply on me this evening. I was proud, then humbled at the responsibility the Lord has bestowed on me as the overseer of His family He has given me to raise.

The the music kicked in. I tell you if I was still in the Pentecostal congregations I wold have been awestruck at the powerdul emotional state in which this place was exploding. And oddly it was not utter chaos, but orderly. This place, for all its differences I have with it spiritually is more than a staple of the Pentecostal practice of today, but it shold be an epicenter for the northern states to flock to. I was impressed. Rivkah asked where their Priest was and I told her they have people here who they call Brothers but are normally known as Ministers or Reverends, not Priests. She asked more questions I tried to explain as best as i could and she jkust kept smiling and dancing.

Eventually the music died down to the more emotional part of worship, the slow mellow songs meant to make you more "spiritual" and "tender". I am not knocking this but it is typical of every service I have attended in the past in Evangelical churches. This would even occur at the Messainic Synagogues I attended; slow meditative songs to move the mood to a more personal, spiritual place of emotion. Rivkah and I just stood there, noting the hands lifting up and the people swaying back and forth. Eventually a slow rumble of tongues began to roll in the area and then an altar call for healing was called forth to the congregation. People went up, people collapsed as hands were placed on foreheads and then the song which was still being played began to grow more intense on the people and everyone began to peak louder in their spiritual language. Excitement ensued. By this time Rivkah and I headed out the door, not because I wanted to leave or Rivkah was feeling uncomfortable but because I was on a time limit and the service was nowhere near ending. I wanted to stay for the sermon but that wasnt going to happen for probably another 45 minutes.

Because of where I am at now and because of where I have come from I am surprisingly not conflicted with attending this place tonight. If I did not come from the Foursquare background I would probably not be where I am today. There is a sensation of being able to sit down and watch what I used to practice, not in diusgust but in the light of knowing where I am today is where God has brought me to experience.

I could criticize, and trust me there is criticism abounding, but why should there be? The onluy comment I would say that would be considered criticism is that if you take away the sensation of emotionalism that is created by the music and the accrutrements surrounding the Pentecostal worship service, would there still be pews filled with people there for the service? We need to look past the message of the worship service and the band, the director of music and the keyboardist, bass player and the cute male drummer the girls oogle over and come down to the one focus, Jesus Christ. If you cannot give them the gospel without emotionalism filing in the gap of the Holy Spirit, what is the purpose of the Church itself? Sometime in the future these place need to grow to the poiitn where the Holy Spirit can enter into the house and be able to work in people's lives, maturing them to the place where He will not need to give you emotional experiences, but Himself. The Holy Spirit fall upon on us as the morning dew, soft, emotionless and yet overpowering. To fall on your face in the presence of the Uncreated Glory of God is the first true time I have ever been able to say I was filled with the Holy Spirit; and this was not in some worship service singing songs and getting a strong spiritual dose of emotionalism.

But yes, for an "Apostolic Pentecostal Evangelical Church" this place is incredible!

Swimming in Absinthe

I woke up today, sore, stiff on my right shoulder and realized I have been in pain most of the night. Granted I woke up and felt refreshed after the last two days hassle of living while collapsing on the ice outside our apartment and falling right on your wound does not constitute a fun time to most people. To those who do find that amusing though, I recommend a nice shot of absinthe straight up so you can taste the bitter herb more clearly.

After waking up and finding out my daughters do not have school today, I checked out the latest news from our lovely, unbiased, nationally televised news channels. I watch Fox sometimes; other times I try to palate MSNBC; most of the time I read up on Libertarian news reports from the world wide web. But today I woke up to the sound of Bank of America dropping 25% and hearing about how this is an all out bombshell on the world! End Times-Armageddon-Fire and Brimstone-Death-World Wide Chaos! I called my brother, who once played the market game in Pasadena CA, as a consiglieri to a bunch of penny stock gurus, who calmed me down and told me this is not a huge deal; it stinks, but hey, they got free money from the Feds to use now. Realizing the free money is coming out of my pockets and my kids future pockets, I think Congress needs a straight shot of Absinthe to take the edge off of their illusion they think is reality.

After popping some pain pills and finishing up some online College work (I am now officially a college nerd, thank you!) I decided to watch some more news online while my kids ran wild and destroyed yet more stuff I have to clean up later. On the news I watched a lovely clip of Nancy Pelosi, my favorite San Francisco politician, introduce a Democratic Stimulus Bill that includes everything from rebuilding the infrastructure, more government college loans and grants, hiring more policemen and funds for more food stamps. To some of you this does not sound like a bad idea. Question: who is going to pay this off? Is it Congress for passing such a bill? No. Is it little green faeries who make money on trees and use it as income(kind of like our National Reserve, right?)? No. Is it us the taxpayers of now and the future taxpayers of the future like our kids? Yes. This bill being proposed is coming with the cost of $835 Billion dollars in projects. These projects are basic projects that our currently handled on the State level, not the Federal Level. Every State in the Union handles their own infrastructure, state college loans and grants, hires their own policemen and has their own state programs for welfare aid. Yes, there is a Federal Student Loan, FAFSA, as well as Federal Grants, a Federal Welfare System implemented as well, but every State also has their own programs used as well as those ones Federally. My case in point is not the semantics of Federal Programs or State Programs. My frustration is cost, and a Federal Cost which affects everyone More funds creates more control over the people because money buys people. Also, money which is non-existent means money borrowed which means more taxation on everyone including the poor, like me. not a whole lot of change from the bush Administration. In fact, it kind of feels like the Clinton Administration with his creation of higher taxation on the middle class in 1994-95. So I think nancy Pelosi need s shot of Absinthe, straight up so she can taste how bitter her own political creations really taste to the rest of the United States.

I have a plan: lets shrink government! But since I know we are in such a dire need for change and change has come in the name of a new Messiah from the Chicago Political Circle, I think I need a shot of Absinthe with sugar so it can go down bittersweet whilst I hide in fear for the very sanctity of our freedoms, rights, pocketbooks and sanity. How can we be governed by a man who unstoppably got into the office of the Presidnet of the United States by a landslide all in the name of not being a Bush, being Black and making Chicago Promises on the National front? No one knew what his politics were, aside from the lack of votes he made in Springfield, IL. no one knew his history excpet a handful of followers he formed while making political promises to lackeys in Chicago. Once people realize what Chicago Politics mean I doubt Chicago will ever see a politician reach the White House ever again. But hey, its change right?

We all should contribute financially to our government and to charity; after all, Vice-President Elect Biden said we all should contribute to our government and to charities. President Elect Obama donated $0 dollars to charity last year. Follow his example. He is a new Messiah, like Jesus.

President George W. Bush donated millions to charities to feed the poor last year alone. Do not do such horribe things. He is evil, like Satan.

Twenty-Sixteen Years Young and Counting...

By the time I finish typing this out, editing it for errors I can see and reread it for the errors I will still miss and eventually catch but be to lazy to redo, I will be one day closer to January 9th. I cannot believe that I was once a stocky, sexy man beast of a boy, strapping with testosterone and hailing a six pack at one time before the age of 16. Let alone I was handsome, without a jowl, single and no kids, running around town at all hours of the day and night partying like it was 1999 and listening to The Cure on my tape deck in my car.

I can remember when New Order's Blue Monday came out and I would sneak into clubs and dance to it. I also remember going to Cure concerts before they released Disintegration, their most popular and one of my least favorite albums, though it did hail some good songs. I remember going to the beach with friends, ditching classes and having fun surfing, hitting caffeine bars and talking to beautiful ladies twice our age at questionable locations.

But I also remember saying "I do" to the greatest woman I love. I remember the birth of my little baby girl Rivkah, how she cuddled into me and I could quiet her down while she nuzzled into my shoulder and neck. How she played with my hands and I would place her on her little bottom on the table and rest her against my chest while she would grab at things I placed in front of her which were colorful and I could make her laugh. The birth of my youngest daughter, for now, Mishka and how I prayed right before I went into the room to see her born that I would give her over to you, O Lord as Your child and not mine, that You will be her father and I am only Your servant and how I prayed that You raise her through me and I asked to be Your servant to her. I remember looking down into the eyes of Annakah and her calling me "Papa" for the first time and cuddling right into me when she found out I was going to be her step-father.

I remember going into work and finding out that they are laying me off right after I got married and made a move 500 miles from my family with no one around me I knew to look for as support. I remember struggling to find a job where I was going to make enough money to just have rent, let alone pay bills and get food, for almost two years. I remember swallowing my pride and moving my family into my own mother's home because I failed at being a husband and a father to my kids. I remember being told by some family and many friends that I was not being responsible enough to my family and how they themselves worked and toiled but I am not followng through enough or that God is punishing me for something and how I need to go to Him. I remember all the nights when I could not sleep and going to the adoration chapel, because no other Church on the Planet excpet the Orthodox and the Catholic have their doors open for anyone at midnight, so I could pray and cry out to my God that I needed work for my family. I remember getting up every morning either in tears to find work and coming home later after being told I was either overqualified or underqualified, or I did not fit the look for their company. I remember leaving California to Illinois being excited with a fresh start to work in a pig slaughterhouse just to leave the corruption of California on the family unit. I remember packing up and leaving Illinois because no one there was willing to give a fat, ex-Californian a chance or let alone hire me because none of my ancestors were buried in their graveyards. I remember heading up to Wisconsin for a new start, being separated from my family while they stayed in California and I went to find something more suited in a more open community like Fond Du Lac than Jacksonville, IL. I remember being told that I am the person they were looking for when I went to one of my job interviews. I remember picking up my family from the airport ina snowstorm and holding my three girls up high when I finally saw them for the first time in four months. I rmember losing my job in Fond Du Lac, not because of something I did but because the trade I am in is dead.

I remember recently hearing that struggles in life are common. Granted we do not even have a penny to this months rent and we are overdue as of two days ago, but somehow, somewhere God always provides. Yet I have to realize that even though I am no longer able to do manual labor due to my shoulder being permanently disabled, my wife is pregnant again and we are broke, this will probably be the best birthday I will have up to now. Because of the lack of funds this month my girls are making me presents from home. They want to do something special for their Papa. Yet right now they do not realize that they have already given me the greatest gift they could ever give, which is their love...

Oh Lord, show me how to love my children as You love us as children, to nurture and grow as seeds cast on fertile soil with open sun and good water. May Your Wisdom though your Spirit guide my heart and mind to understand where I fail and strengthen me further in the strengths You have bestowed upon me thus far. You are mighty in Your Ways and above all Wisdom of men! We humbly desire Your forgiveness in our failures and we seek Your Compassion in all these things, and in all things we do may it always be to Your glory! Amen.

Saddened by St. Francis of Assisi

I was a lover of this Roman Catholic Saint for a long time in my days, always remembering certain statement's of his, in love with his almost romantic approach to how his life was one which glorified Jesus Christ and his attempt at revisionism within the Roman Catholic Church. He was a small hero to me; someone I was admiring without knowing the full details of his life but admiring what I have witnessed as an outsider to Roman Catholicism.

Recently I was watching EWTN as I always do when I am suffering from insomnia and/or my wife is having difficulty sleeping and is tossing and turning and I wish to give her more space on our little queen-sized bed. Sure enough, one of the programs went ovr the life of St,. Francis of Assisi. I was excited to delve deeper into the life of this hermit. The lives of Saints are exciting to see as they are examples as well as brothers in the Lord who also teach us from their lives and show us insight to God. And so I sat down, opened a bottle of Leinenkugels and relaxed to a show about a little hero of mine.

At the end of the show I was amazed at how much he was not the man I orignally had painted out to me for all these years. In fact he went against the tenets of Orthodox Asceticism and created a newfound approach which almost glorified himself as a new Pope out to reform Christianity itself! EWTN did not attempt to paint this out, as they praised Francis' zeal and fervor but I shall explain one major difference between the Orthodox Church and the Roman Catholic Church. Roman Catholicism throughout history has held dearly that their authority granted to them by the seat of Peter has given claim that they themselves in some romanticized form can actually see themselves enlightened enough that they can sin no more. Orthodox ascetic tradition states otherwise that no man cannot see himself as a sinner no more, as we live in humility to Jesus Christ daily, asking for His forgiveness until the very last second. No authority outside of Jesus Christ can make that claim that they themselves are finally found sinless unless they are glorified into heaven!

So with this in mind I was saddened to see my little hero of St. Francis making statements like: "During my prayer two great lights appeared before me —one in which I recognized the Creator, and another in which I recognized myself." As he also made the claims that on his deathbed he was absolving sins of his own will, as he himself having been glorified as Christ and therefore perfected.

One other example of this attitude was with the stigmata he suffered while asking for insight. He wished for a miracle and supposedly got it with this stigmata. Now a stigmata has never been documented in the East. The stigmata is strictly a Western anomaly as the Eastern focus is not on the sufferings of Christ but on His resurrection and conquering of Death which bridges us to God.

Once Francis witnessed himself transformed into the image of Jesus Christ, not only spiritually but now physically through the gift of the stigmata, he changed. it is as if vainglory stepped in and he was no longer in humility but now a stalwart religious leader with a calling to reform the Church. His actions sadly showed what the Greek word plani means: Francis saw himself from what his internal mental showed him to be, Jesus Christ in all facets, including authority. Francis literally felt he was no longer able to sin and thus became empowered on a cause which sadly we see in many modern day denominational preachers as untouchable and a sense that they can do no wrong by the Authority of the Holy Spirit.

Please, all three of you who read this here tiny blog of mine take this advice from the Eastern Brother here in the Lord: The truly righteous always consider themselves unworthy of God. We are nothing in the presence of the Almighty, the Maker of Heaven and Earth. Yet He loves us enough to not find pleasure in the sacrifice of His Son but in the fruit it bore after His own Son conquered death. We are here to serve him and to love him and to grow closer to him daily. Theosis does not grant authority and make one God; Theosis is the desire to become a Son of God, to know Him as His own, never gaining deification.

So in the end of all this I find that my little Roman Catholic hero was not such a great guy when it came to doctrine I was sad. But I tell you what- St. Seraphim of Sarov is an incredible guy with as much zeal and love for the Lord, with humility. He is a great hero of the faith!

Israeli/Palestinian War

Now I am not a fan of conflict. War is absurd and almost all the time unnecessary in almost every circumstance since the creation of the universe. I am not a supporter of the current Israeli Government who has placed more restrictions on pilgrims- Christian, Muslim or whoever is not Orthodox Jewish. But I am also not a fan of the "freedom fighting" Palestinian either. My reason is simple: if you launch mortars over a wall and hit someone or something, expect retaliation. Its a pretty stupid ordeal to whine about getting invaded when you did it to yourself. This is how I see it, Pallywood style:

"Hey, Jimmy! Lets lob some missiles over towards the Israelis! Lets pray to Allah that we hit someone and get our 70+ virgins wheh we die!"

"Sounds good Bob-O!"

Later that week after Jimmy and Bob-O launched a few more...

"Hey! Why all the tanks and guns and Israeli soldiers? What gives? All we did was try to kill a few Israelis for virgins in Paradise! Is that so wrong? I mean, come on- They're only Jews!"

"Hey Jimmy! Lets make some propaganda footage for 60 minutes and other weak-willed nations who sympathize with our anti-Israeli interest for our virgins!"

"Sounds great, Bob-O!"

"People of the world, we bring authentic footage of our resistance against the Israeli dogs! watch this!

Resolutions

For once in my life I actually lived up to following through with a New Year's Resolution. I quit smoking last year. I did not want to because I always found a deep pleasure and relaxation that gave me the whole "meh. It could get worse but meh" outlook on life but I needed things to change. One thing helps: being completely broke and deciding on either a pack of cancer sticks or diapers for your youngest, so yeah, I decided on the diapers. Since that time we are more broke but I am smoke free.

But I also ponder on how my cool level has dropped since then. I am no longer one of the social outcasts of society. I am no longer counted as one of the rebels nor am I in the same category as our President Elect who steals a smoke whenever he is off camera and away from his family which is commonplace for the Illinois Democrat. I cannot be yelled at or waved to by people entering a building, psudo-coughing 30 feet away from me as they step into the building. I wil lmiss those looks from others as I would light up and they would look upon me as a social leper of the 21st Century. I have to say that smokers are treated worse now than ever and its all the Politician's fault, even though they made money on both sides of this issue irregardless. ANd I will also state for the record that the money in California which is supposed to go to the public schools has never shown up since they raised the cost of cigarettes by double, almost triple now with added taxes placed upon by those who demand the authority to tell you what you can and cannot do to yourself. What is next, gum chewing?

Even though I quit I will still defend the freedom for people to smoke. Its not the job of the govenrment to tell you what is right and wrong. But then again I feel the same way about some of the drugs which are illegal at this point as well, but I do not need to go frther on that discussion right now.

For the first time I have actually done it. I changed. I have yet to really feel any of the effects of quitting except I still would smoke one right now if I was around it. But since I have locked myself in my home with my kids I really have not been exposed to it. The real test will be going out into society and trying to follow my new resolution I made last night: Follow the Orthodox Fasts as strict as I can whioe under the same roof with a pregnant wife and soon to be four kids.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God through your strength and wisdom may I persevere over such obstacles which have been a grave error of my ways. Teach me to be addicted to you only and not anything of this world. Amen.